I’m so glad that it’s almost THE WEEKEND! And, not only that, next week I’ll take off on the 20th and won’t be back until the 27th. I’ll work for 2 days and then I’ll have a 3 day weekend because I’m taking off on the 31st. That sounds so wonderful and inviting. I plan to write and rest. Exciting, huh? Well, I finished my Christmas and 23rd-anniversary shopping today so that is a weight off of my shoulders. All I have to do is make it through the holidays. I am looking forward to some extra writing time. And I’ll probably do a little housekeeping but I’m not as excited about that. That’s the nice thing about writing…you don’t actually have to be sitting in front of the laptop to do it. The ideas are always generating and flowing in your mind when you’re doing other things like cleaning house. Or trying to concentrate on something else. And no matter what you do, they cannot be held back. So you might as well stop and scribble down a few notes so that you don’t forget it. Writers are always writing in one way or another. We can’t help it. We even wake up in the middle of the night to write about the dream we had that’s a great premise for a book. When we read a book, we’re always thinking about how we would have handled certain parts of it and are sure that we could have done much better. Be we also notice things in that writing that just takes our breath away and wonder how they came up with that. Most authors will tell you that if you want to be a good writer, you need to read…a lot. We can learn so much from the writing of others. We can get ideas from those books and turn them into completely original stories. So, whether we’re cleaning house, reading a book, sitting in front of our laptop, or even sleeping, we are writing. We just need to be more aware of that and honor it for what it is…progress. Don’t ever forget that.
Category: Inspiration
Day 70: Musings on Finding a Tribe
I spent my entire life looking for my tribe. And every single time that I thought I’d found it, I was disappointed. I even tried at different times to change who I was so that it was more likely that I’d fit into an existing tribe. But every time that I did that, I would find that I wasn’t at all comfortable in the new skin I’d slipped into nor did I particularly like the people in the tribe that made me feel as though I had to change to be worthy of them. Finally, I gave up. I was too opinionated. Too fat. Too political. Too honest. Too emotional. Too intellectual. Too real. Too quirky. Too this. Too that. Basically, I was just too much. I couldn’t squeeze into the mold that they’d prepared for prospective tribe members. So, for a while, I gave up on finding this seemingly mythical tribe and became my own tribe. A few years later, I tried again. It went a little better. I didn’t have to pretend to be someone that I wasn’t or rein in my “too muchness” when we were together. I felt accepted and it was comfortable…until a power struggle began between two alphas that both wanted to be the chief of the tribe. People took sides, of course, but I didn’t. You wouldn’t think that would be a bad thing…but apparently, it was. For some people, being neutral isn’t an option and it’s viewed by those involved in the power struggle as you supporting the other person since you’re not supporting them. I walked away because life is too short to constantly have to explain yourself to others. I tried to find a writing tribe and, once again, thought I’d succeeded. But, for some reason, one person took an instant dislike to me and went out of her way to make my life in that group a living hell. Because of her, I stopped wanting to share my writing because I knew that no matter how many people loved it, she would take my piece apart and eviscerate it…and me. I was told by multiple people that she did it to every new member and that I should just ignore her. How can you ignore someone whose mission in life is to make you believe that you are a terrible writer even when others tell you that you aren’t? And why would anyone in their right mind just sit there and take it meeting after meeting? Again, life is just too short for that. After that, I completely gave up. I no longer held out any hope whatsoever that I’d find a tribe. Then one day a few months ago, I received an email from SARK saying that Succulent Wild World was open to new members. I jumped on it. I joined about 2 minutes later. I was welcomed enthusiastically into the group by so many people. Then, thru that group, I met the lovely lady that ran The Sunday Night Writing Group and she allowed me to join. More wonderful people. Shortly after that, SARK’s Rhapsody of Writing #2 was announced and SARK told me that she wanted me in it while we were on an SWW mentoring call. The second I received the email invitation, I signed up and submitted my writing sample. I was overjoyed when I was notified that I had made it in. Most, if not all of the members of ROW are members of SWW and some of the ladies in The Sunday night Writing Group are in SWW as well. Everyone in these groups is completely awesome. We support each other in our creative aspirations. When someone is down, they are lifted up. When someone has something large or small to celebrate, they are celebrated. We share our artwork and writing without being afraid that someone is going to rip it and us apart. All that you receive is encouragement. No one feels any pressure to present only their perfect self when we’re on ZOOM because everyone accepts you for who you are and you aren’t judged for showing up with no makeup or with messy hair. You might have had a horrendous day at work and think about not showing up for the call but you know that the very best thing you can do for yourself is show up. You will leave that call in a much better place…especially if you stay for the Dessert Groups which are small, randomly matched groups where you can connect with people that understand your messy middle. That usually ends at 10:00pm my time and I’m usually so happy and hyper afterward that I can’t sleep. It truly energizes you. I am making friends with some of the most amazing people in those three groups whose paths I would never have crossed otherwise. I feel safe, accepted, encouraged, believed in, and so much more. Now that is what I call a tribe.
“There are, literally, thousands of people all around the world who need nothing more than to meet someone just like you. To spend your time pretending to be someone else is just as senseless and fear-driven as spending your time speaking to people that don’t understand you. Find your tribe. Let yourself be seen. You are already someone’s hero.” ~ Vironika Tugaleva
Day 69: Distractions
When I write, I really need some blinders to wear so that I’m not so easily distracted. I need a block on the internet…mainly for Facebook and email…and my phone should definitely be turned off. It is almost impossible for me to disconnect from the world. I’ve thought about buying one of those lockboxes that you put your cell phone in and then set the timer for the amount of time that you need to be away from the phone. Once you set the timer, there is no way to open it. You have to wait until the timer goes off. But, if I did get one, I’d probably sit there for hours trying to figure out a way to beat it because that’s how my mind works. I do not like being bested by any kind of electronics. And I am too stubborn for my own good. So, no on the lockbox. I could give it to my husband but, uh, no. He abhors cell phones so it would probably disappear forever. So, I guess that I’m stuck with self-control. If you could see me now, you’d know that I’m laughing. I have a weight problem and I’m a notorious impulse spender…mostly on electronics and books. So self-control is pretty much off the table. ADHD also plays a role in this issue of mine. It makes staying on task so difficult even under the best of circumstances. When I’m working, I listen to audiobooks so that I can concentrate. The book keeps my right brain occupied so that my left brain can work. This actually works very well…at work. But if I’m trying to write, I don’t think that would work at all because both are right brain activities. I’m getting pretty damned tired of going back to square 1 here. Maybe if someone locked me in an empty white room with no windows, no visual or audio stimuli, no internet connectivity for the laptop that has been wiped clean leaving only Word and my novel on it, I could write without distraction. Maybe. I know I’m not the only one that goes through this when sitting down to write. So, what do we do about it? There are obviously no quick easy fixes or we would be turning out books like James Patterson. I’ve often wondered if meditation was the answer but the times I’ve tried it, I could not get my mind to be still. I am not going to give up. I have given up on far too many things in my lifetime and this will not be the next one. I have people backing me up and cheering me on so I will not let them down. Nor will I let me down. I want this so badly that I can taste it. Perhaps it’s because I am surrounded by so many amazingly talented writers and creatives that I feel so energized creatively. Or maybe it’s because of my new ametrine ring that is supposed to enhance creativity…you never know. It’s actually a combination of so many things. How can I allow myself to let all of this go to waste? I can’t and that’s the motivation that I need to succeed!
“Say no to distractions so you can say yes to your destiny.” ~ Thema Davis
Day 68: Is There a Method to the Madness?
When I am at work, my desk looks like a paper factory exploded. I have stacks of paper and files everywhere because that is what I deal with 99% of the time…paperwork, which I have no time to file. And it really doesn’t bother me that my desk and credenza are cluttered. If someone needs something, I can pull it out, no problem. But my writing haven, that’s a totally different story. It bothers me. A lot. That’s why I’ve been working to get it less cluttered. Don’t ask me what the difference is between my work office and my writing office because I honestly do not know. Maybe I just like that clean slate feel that my writing area has. If I’m thinking about the extra notebooks, books, files, papers, etc…, then I’m not writing. I can concentrate on the writing rather than looking over at something that catches my eye and distracts me from the real reason I’m there. I get involved in busy work…moving this here, filing that, reading something else…and my brain isn’t even close to writing a single word. I’ve lost my focus. So, yeah, maybe it is that clean slate thing. I try to not have any kind of “toys” lying around because I will just sit there and play with them…anything to avoid that blank page. I know that’s not true of all writers though because I have seen photos of the desks of some of the most prolific writers and they have toys sitting there yet they turn out books one after the other. I know that my ADHD plays a part in this so I can’t beat myself up too badly. But, at the same time, I can’t be the only ADHD writer out there. Others get past it so why can’t I? Well, I’m working on it. I can’t let that keep getting the best of me. I am stronger and more determined than that. I’ve identified at least part of the problem so now all I have to do is fix it. All you can do is identify problems as they pop up and then move on to the next one and address it. We aren’t machines and our brains don’t have chips in them that limit us to only one task. Our brains demand to be entertained and engaged. We just have to learn how to do that without interfering with our creative goals. So, maybe the next time my brain gets a little rowdy, I’ll tell it a story.
Day 67: Writing As a Coping Mechanism
Is writing as a coping mechanism something that only I do? I’m not talking about journal entries or similar types of writing. I am talking about poetry, fiction, and the like. Poetry is definitely a great coping tool for me…especially when I’m angry, upset, or depressed. It allows all of that to just flow out of me and then I feel so much lighter. Fiction takes me out of my current surroundings and circumstances. It opens up everything for me…my mind, my heart, and even my expectations. It makes me feel hopeful. It lets me see all of these possibilities that are out there for me. It makes me happy. It’s like shining a light into darkness…everything was there before the light but we just weren’t able to see it. Life is like that. Just about anything is possible if we take the time to see and realize it. When I’m writing, my mind tends to wander at times and it takes me to places that I don’t think I would have thought of otherwise. Creativity is like a spark plug in our brain. You have a thought and that single spark causes the entire brain to come alive in new ways. It takes you in new directions which lead to more ideas and more sparks. My problem is that I tend to let my brain idle after that happens for me. I don’t always take full advantage of that spark and everything that it can lead to and generate. If I did, I’d probably be a published author by now instead of struggling to finish Rapture. I used to use the excuse that I couldn’t write without that spark but I figured out that you can jumpstart your brain if you really do want to create. The majority of our excuses are just that…excuses. You want to be a writer so you sit your ass down in that chair and write. Don’t talk about your muse being fickle or not being inspired. Sit down and write anything until you feel that spark fire in your brain and then really start writing. We can do this…we always could. We just have to make up our minds to do it. And not give up!
Day 66: Thoughts
After spending all of yesterday working on my writing haven, I have my new lights hung, shelves put together, books and notebooks a little more organized which gives me a bit more room to write and work, and doing a few other miscellaneous things, I am feeling very good about it all. I still have some work to do to get it where I want it to be but it’s definitely coming along nicely. It feels less claustrophobic without books and notebooks piled all around me. I still have some organizing to do though…I have ROW, SWW, MasterClass, Udemy, and other miscellaneous classes and information to put in notebooks. But this definitely makes me want to be in here even more than before. And the more time I’m in here, the more time I’ll spend writing. So my little decorating binge is paying off. As I’ve said before, I really think that having an inviting place to write in is important. If we don’t have that, it’s just another impediment to a daily writing practice. I need that since I seem to be fighting it all the way to my laptop. So every little push in the right direction is important. Why do we fight so hard against the thing that we want more than anything? Fear of failure or rejection? I think that’s my reason. I am doing better with that. I have begun making myself read my writing out loud and then I critique it. For every one thing that I’m not happy with, I find 2 or more things that I’m very happy with and that really has bolstered my feelings about my writing. I read a part of Rapture today that, when I wrote it, I wasn’t at all sure that it was any good. Today, I realized that it was good. Some of the other stuff that I had been pretty happy with at the time, I am finding to be less so. It’s not all bad but it’s definitely in need of an overhaul. So, I highly recommend to everyone that you take a step back from your writing and read it aloud. You’ll find more things out by listening to and feeling the rhythm that than you will just hearing it in your head. It has made me rethink a lot of Rapture and now I want to move some things around and delete others. It needs to be streamlined a bit more than it is now. And I will probably abandon some of my old ideas regarding the direction of the story. It needs to be done. None of my words or ideas are so precious that I can’t slash them from the book. Editors won’t think that they are, so why should I? Well, that’s it for my daily musings so I think I’ll get back to organizing. Or maybe, I’ll take a nap…both are equally important to me! I’ll see you tomorrow. Happy Monday eve.
Day 65: My Writing Haven
I am back in my writing haven. I cannot begin to tell you just how much joy this tiny room brings me. Right now, the wind is howling and it’s cloudy and cold. It’s warm in here and I have this wonderful candle burning called Winter. It and Candeo’s Winter Lodge are my favorites during this time of year. Of course, I love anything that’s patchouli-scented and add in a little jasmine and I’m in heaven. I just love candles and scents. There’s one that is lavender and cedarwood that also makes me very happy. I use candles to intensify my moods. If it were warm and rainy, I’d be burning Candeo’s Rain Water or Medieval Garden. On a beautiful, bright spring day, I’d have a honeysuckle/jasmine candle lit. A certain scent can take me back so many years to a specific place in time and make the memory so much more intense and real. Anyway…I have some ROW “work” to do in order to prepare for next Saturday’s ZOOM retreat so I’ll be holed up in here for a good part of the day. I have some organizing of papers and spaces to handle as well as hanging my new shimmering star lights. I have decided where I’ll put them so that they enhance my current light display but not overwhelm it. LED lights are the best! I think that if these stars are as cool as they looked in the pictures, I’ll be done with my light show…until I see another string of lights that catches my fancy. My main goal today is to get my ROW work done, punch and organize other paperwork for ROW and SWW, clear a space where I can actually write on top of the table rather than on top of books or notebooks, hang my stars, and just enjoy my little haven. As I’ve said before, it really adds to my motivation to have a room that I can come to that I love and enjoy being in to write. It’s a magical room for me. And we can all use a little magic in our writing lives. I even hung my magic wand so that it appears to be floating at an angle. After I get my stars up and some of the clutter cleared away, I’ll share a photo in one of my posts. Well, I really didn’t have much to say today except to express my joy. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster week and now that I have the all clear from my cardiovascular surgeon after the test on Wednesday, I am ready to let that joy just wash over me! I hope that you have an amazing, joy-filled day!
“Joy is a decision, a really brave one, about how you are going to respond to life.” ~ Wess Stafford
Day 64: Holidays
Our days are about to become a little more hectic with all of the planning and rushing around for the holidays. Our Christmas is pretty low key. We have a get together with Rick’s kids and our grandkids on the 21st and we usually spend Christmas day with my family. Even though it’s low key, it still takes me away from my writing since I don’t have that much spare time. Not to sound completely like the Grinch but I just don’t seem to have the same Christmas spirit that I used to have. Actually, I have very little. I love buying and giving people gifts that they love and I’ve always been really good at that. But, other than that, I’d be perfectly content to stay home with Rick and the critters and watch horror movies (I haven’t seen It’s a Wonderful Life in about 20 years and I’ve never watched even 1 of the Hallmark Christmas movies) while I write. I do miss my parents most during the holidays. My dad was a big kid when it came to Christmas and our house was decorated inside and out. My mom was a cooking fiend during the holidays. Her pecan pie was legendary. Without them to hold us together, my brother and I have become somewhat estranged and Christmas is usually the only time we see each other now even though we only live about 30 minutes apart. We are such different people now that we have very little in common. So, yeah, I have some Bah Humbug going on here. The holidays can bring up some issues that we don’t face on a daily basis so it can be difficult. I tend to pull into myself more and write. So that’s 1 positive thing that comes from it. I’m trying to deal with my more negative emotions and moods that way because it’s cathartic even if I’m not writing specifically about what’s bothering me. It just sets the tone for the piece I’m writing. I’m trying to do more things in ways that support my dreams, goals, and well-being. Sometimes that means saying no to people and they become angry or hurt because they don’t understand where I’m coming from and then they don’t want to hear the reason. So, I’ve stopped explaining myself and if they love and support me, they will accept my answer without anger, hurt, or judgment. We have to take better care of ourselves…mentally, emotionally, and physically. We should set our sights on something and do what is necessary to make it happen. We are just as important as anyone else in our lives so we have to treat ourselves that way. And believe in ourselves. So, during the holidays, we need to try to let the stress flow around us rather than through us. Avoid anything that we know will trigger negative emotions. And remember that the people who truly know, understand, and love us will accept us as we are.
Day 63: Back in the Saddle
Well, I’ve recovered from yesterday’s fun and I’m back to my daily grind. It’s been fairly quiet here today, which is nice, so I’ve gotten some things accomplished, which is also nice. I’m hoping to get out of here on time and get home in time to do some writing that’s not rushed like it usually is. I thought I’d get some writing done yesterday but I was pretty wasted after spending the day at the doctor’s office being the patient patient. I also have another set of lights for my writing haven…cascading stars that twinkle…to add to my already gaudy display. What can I say…they make me happy. And the people on my different ZOOM calls love them. I say decorate your writing space up so that it makes you happy and inspires you. Surround yourself with your favorite things…even if it’s just photos of those things. Make it inviting so that you’re always happy to go into that space. I’m fortunate in that I don’t share that space with anyone so I can do whatever I want with it…sparkly lights, New Orleans souvenirs/mementos, dragonflies, etc…. If you share your space, decorate it with small things that are in your line of sight. I have a lot of crystals and stones that are supposed to help with creativity around my laptop. It helps me to see them there whether they actually “do” anything or not. I like thinking that they do so that’s all that matters. I was asked once whether I believed that crystals had powers or some kind of energy flowing through them that actually do something for the owner or wearer of them. My answer was that I didn’t know whether they did or not but if someone believed that they did…then they did. Personally, I love the beauty of the stones and crystals…whether in their natural state or polished and shaped like a sphere or an obelisk or if used in jewelry. Obsidian and labradorite are my favorites so I have a lot of those in every possible shape that you can think of scattered amongst my belongings. Obsidian is supposed to combat negativity so I choose to believe that one. We can all use some obsidian for that purpose! Anyway, back to our writing spaces. It has to be inviting so make it that way. It increases the odds of us actually entering that space and writing. Even if you are one of those people that likes a less busy space, there are still ways to make inviting for yourself. Everyone’s taste is different and you know what you’d like to see and envelope yourself in while you’re writing. It’s your space. We all need every possible thing available to help keep us writing and, for me, that’s a fun, sparkly space. For you, it might be a restful, subdued space. And for someone else, it will be completely different from either of those. Use your imagination…see your ideal space in your mind’s eye and work towards that. It can’t hurt your writing experience and it might just enhance it so have some fun with it. I am!
Day 62: Speaking to Strangers
I tried to start this blog earlier today while I was in holding patterns between tests and scans but I just couldn’t concentrate long enough to write. So I played Trivia Crack, looked through Facebook for cute animal videos, and had a very lovely conversation with a mother and daughter that were also waiting for the same series of tests and scans that I was having. It always amazes me just how personal conversations can become under those circumstances. When I was a kid and I’d go to the doctor with my mom, she would always end up in these deep conversations with total strangers. Anyone that overheard them would have thought that they were old friends. I would usually sit there mortified that she was discussing personal things with a stranger. And here I am doing the same thing. I now think it’s a good thing. Sharing problems and difficult situations with a stranger is sometimes easier than sharing with an acquaintance. You don’t have to put on your brave face or pretend to be strong. You can be a bundle of nerves and vulnerable because you’re sharing the same situation and a lot of the same fears. You’ll never see these people again which allows you some anonymity and if you do end up making a fool of yourself you’re not doing it in front of someone that can keep bringing it up over and over. It’s not unlike seeing a therapist and it’s very cathartic. I wholeheartedly recommend it. I was so nervous when I went in and I ended up sitting there with these women, laughing, sharing stories, and comforting each other. I hope to see them again sometime in the future at the doctor’s office. When I was growing up, my mom always told me to never speak to strangers but she set a poor example since she spoke to strangers everywhere she went. And now I’ll glad that was the example she set.
Inspired Writer 