Day 106: Random Thoughts from My ADHD Mind

Saturdays are difficult for me because there is a part of me that wants to just be lazy and do piddly things…or nap and just completely decompress from the work week.  Then, there’s the other part of me that really wants to get things done.  I have a few things I’d like to accomplish this weekend but the first side is reminding me how good taking a nap or binge-watching a series is.  And even now, while writing this, my eyes keep being drawn outside because of the movement of the tree limbs in the wind and the way the sunlight is coming through the trees.  It’s cold outside and the wind is howling which makes me think about the horror novel I’d love to write but my mind tells me that I have to finish Rapture first before starting a new project.  So there’s a disagreement going on in my brain and I’m trying to not pay any attention to it but it’s a bit difficult to do since I have access it to be able to finish this post.  My brain stays very busy all day, every day.  I’ve tried so many different times to meditate but apparently, my brain doesn’t want to be quieted and centered.  It wants to run free, darting this way and that and the more that I try to wrangle it, the more it struggles to be free of any and all constraints.  I have been diagnosed with ADHD by two different therapists, not that I needed their expert opinions.  I have developed some ways to deal with it but most of the time I just give my brain its head and let it run.  At work,  I sometimes struggled with staying on task so I decided that maybe my right brain needed to be kept busy so that my left brain could work.  From that thought came the idea of listening to audiobooks while working…so I tried it and it worked better than I could have imagined.  I have tried to figure out a similar way to help me when I’m writing but so far there’s nothing.  I need my right brain fully engaged when I write so I can’t distract it.  Sometimes music helps a bit or having a show or movie that I’ve seen before playing in the background but nothing keeps it completely focused on the task at hand.  So I will continue my search for full concentration when I write and, if I have any luck, I’ll let you know because I know that I’m not the only one with this problem.  Well, I need to bundle up and go out to feed my ferals.  I worry about them in this cold weather and wish that I could take them all into my home.  So I feed, water, and love them while praying that they all stay safe.  And, after I take care of them, I think that I will take a little nap.  So, if you’re in a place that’s affected by this freezing weather…stay warm and I’ll see you tomorrow!

          

About Donna Heilman

I am a writer that lives in the Dallas-Ft. Worth Metroplex with my husband, 3 dogs, and 6 cats. I am currently working on my novel, Rapture, as well as writing poetry and some short non-fiction. I am honestly writing this blog to feel more connected with other creative people.
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