Ruminating…to think deeply about something. Over the last few months, I have been ruminating about my writing. Am I any good? Will others like my writing? Can I fit it into my life and give it as much time as I’d like to…as I need to? Do I have the tools within myself to make my dreams a reality? Am I going to let my Inner Critic win or will my Inner Wise Self finally shut it up? First, I am good and others do like my fiction and poetry. Second, I have to fit it into my life…I have no choice because this is something that my soul desires to the point that it can’t rest until I give it my all. Third, I have all of the tools…I might not have mastered them yet, but I will. Fourth, my Inner Wise Self is growing stronger every single day…it’s already drowning out some of my Inner Critic’s bullshit. My IC seems to become more vocal with each bit of progress I make so I’ve come to understand that it is afraid that I will stop listening to its lies one day. And I will. My dear friends in ROW have been very positive about my writing and are pushing me gently forward. They also will give a little tough love when I need it. Our Retreat, as SARK calls our 5-hour ZOOM meetings, yesterday was probably the most rewarding day that I’ve experienced in a long time. Not because of the praise for my writing and abilities but because these people are so insightful and such talented and brilliant writers that I am learning so much that cannot be taught in writing books or academic classes alone. And yesterday, I really soaked it all in and internalized it. There was a shift inside me regarding my writing that I cannot even begin to put into words. There is this feeling of expansiveness and wholeness that just overwhelms me when I try to verbalize it. I think that there is going to be a real shift in my writing as well. And, it’s about time because I’ve been dragging my feet for so long. I am extremely excited to move into this next phase because I think it’s going to be awesome! I will keep you updated.
“The art of writing is discovering what you believe.” ~ Gustave Flaubert