Since I was released from the hospital and rehab facility, I have been struggling with what I believe are symptoms of a stroke. Officially, they stated that I did not have a stroke but I know that I definitely have symptoms. I have difficulty forming some words, I have weakness in certain areas of my body, my right arm doesn’t work like it did so I have difficulty writing, and I struggle with finding words at time. I feel defective. I want to write but I just can’t. I don’t know if it’s because my brain isn’t working well enough to write or if I’m worrying too much about finding out that I really can’t write so I’m avoiding it. Writing has always been my main creative activity and I think that I’m good at it and others have also told me that I am a good writer. What if I’ve lost that part of me? I’m driving myself crazy worrying about it. What if the words won’t flow like they used to? What if they’re stuck in my head with no way to get out? I know that the only way to really find out is to sit down in front of my laptop and do it. I have to stop being afraid. And, I am writing in my blog but I don’t feel like I’m being creative. I’m just repeating my worries on this page, not creating. But that’s better than not doing anything. I’m exercising my writing brain and maybe that will help get me out of this creative funk. Well, I feel a little better now and I am coming up with a plan to get back to writing. The writer’s group I joined and that meets on Wednesday will definitely help. I’m breathing a little easier now.