Today is the 1st day of my 7 days of freedom.  Freedom to write, freedom to sleep late, freedom to take naps, freedom to listen to music at top volume, freedom to daydream while looking out of my writing haven window…just freedom.  It’s amazing!  Right now I’m just sitting here listening to the wind howling while watching the trees sway and the leaves rustle on a beautiful sunny day.  It’s amazing how much power something with no physical form has.  Our words also have no physical form when thought or spoken but are powerful forces.  They can change minds, hearts, and the world.  And that makes us powerful.  That’s why it’s so important for us as writers to write and give those words physical form in the shape of a poem, a story, or a book.  Our words could reach someone that has never been reached before.  Sometimes we feel alone while we’re writing but we are not.  We are giving a voice to things that others are feeling but can’t put into words.  They are here with us in spirit.  So we aren’t writing for just ourselves.  We need to always remember that.  And I’m not talking about writing to please others…I’m talking about making a connection through those words we type and send out into the world.  While reading those words, a lonely person might feel that connection, a sad person might smile, a brokenhearted person might heal, etc…  So, as I said, we have to write…for ourselves and for others.  When you get frustrated or just don’t feel like writing, think about that.  Think about the impact that your words could have on the world.  And write them! 

“Words have a magical power.  They can either bring the greatest happiness or the deepest despair.” ~ Sigmund Freud       

The last 24-hours have been transformative.  ROW #2 has come to an end after our last retreat yesterday afternoon/evening and it was an emotional time for us all.  There were tears, laughter, gratitude, joy, sadness and so many other emotions that were expressed so openly.  I have never been in a group where I felt so vulnerable yet completely safe in my vulnerability.  These writers, my friends, were so eloquent and expressive that in the beginning, I felt like an intruder that shouldn’t be there, yet they welcomed me with open hearts.  They encouraged me and praised my writing.  That was a huge thing because of the fact that these people who are writing such amazing things said that I was also a good writer.  I’ve had periods during my writing life where I would think that I had talent but there many more times when I thought that I was a terrible writer or just not a good enough writer.  I had so much self-doubt that it would shut my writing down for years at a time.  And when I had days where I’d try to write and it just wouldn’t happen or I would write something only to declare it awful, that was all the proof that I needed that I wasn’t any good.  But over the last few months of ROW, I seemingly came into my own and yesterday sealed the deal.  I know that I’m still “high” from ROW and that I will slowly come down from it but I will never doubt my ability as a writer ever again.  That is sealed in my mind and heart.  I wish that I could give every single writer this feeling…a contact high of sorts.  I wish that I could erase all of the doubts you have about your writing ability.  Every single writer deserves to believe in themselves.  They deserve people in their lives that will praise them for what they are producing and someone to be a sounding board when they are unsure of their writing.  I’d love to be able to just wave my magic wand and make this magically happen but I can’t.  This is why all writers deserve and need a tribe.  Sometimes we need a little help to make that “believing in ourselves and our work” happen.  Reach out to other writers and start forming your tribe because I can tell you from my own experience that it is awesome to find others like yourself and have their support.  Go online…there are so many groups that are full of people like us.  Check for writing groups in your area.  Take a creative writing class…in a classroom or online.  There is more than 1 way to find your tribe in order to get the support that you need.  It worked wonders for me and I know it will for you as well.                

Are you inspired?  Truly inspired?  Yeah, me either.  But you know what…you don’t have to be truly inspired before you sit down in front of your laptop to write.  I think that we have the wrong view of what it’s like to be a “real” writer.  In a way, it’s a calling but in other ways, it’s just another job.  And, like any job, you show up and do the work whether you’re inspired to do it or not.  Have you ever told your boss that you just couldn’t do the spreadsheet that was due because you just weren’t inspired to do it?  I didn’t think so.  So, as writers, our job is to show up and do the work.  Somedays, you won’t accomplish a lot but other days you will and you never know what day you’ll be prolific so you have to try every single day.  And just write…even if it’s total crap.  But think about this, in order to mine almost any precious gemstone, they usually have to dig through a lot of dirt and rocks to get to them.  And even after they find them, there are going to be gemstones that aren’t worth keeping so they have to sort through all of them to find the ones worth keeping.  Writing is like that.  You sit down and start writing and you might produce ten pages that you decide aren’t worth even saving to your laptop but do it anyway.  Tomorrow, you show up and you open that file which, you decide, is going to end up being taught in writing courses as the absolute wrong way to write.  But you begin to read and somewhere in those ten pages, you find your gem.  It might be just an idea or it could be the beginning of your book.  So, lesson one is, do not get rid of anything that you write because you never know if, with a bit of mining, you’ll uncover a gem.  Lesson two, inspiration does strike at times so I’m not denying that it does.  When it does strike, you do have to write.  You might still end up with ten pages of crap but you might not.  All I’m saying is, you can’t afford to wait for it.  Inspiration is fleeting and can strike at inopportune times, however, so you can’t always count on it.  So, show up and be the inspiration with your hard work. We are writers.  We write.  We write through the crap to find our gems.  Do you think that every single page that Stephen King, J. K. Rowling or George R. R. Martin writes is a gem?  I can guarantee you that they’re not.  But they show up and do the work.  That is the key.  So, get in there and write! 

“Start writing no matter what.  The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on. ~ Louis L’Amour

I spent my entire life looking for my tribe.  And every single time that I thought I’d found it, I was disappointed.  I even tried at different times to change who I was so that it was more likely that I’d fit into an existing tribe.  But every time that I did that, I would find that I wasn’t at all comfortable in the new skin I’d slipped into nor did I particularly like the people in the tribe that made me feel as though I had to change to be worthy of them.  Finally, I gave up.  I was too opinionated.  Too fat.  Too political.  Too honest.  Too emotional.  Too intellectual.  Too real.  Too quirky.  Too this.  Too that.  Basically, I was just too much.  I couldn’t squeeze into the mold that they’d prepared for prospective tribe members.  So, for a while, I gave up on finding this seemingly mythical tribe and became my own tribe.  A few years later, I tried again.  It went a little better.  I didn’t have to pretend to be someone that I wasn’t or rein in my “too muchness” when we were together.  I felt accepted and it was comfortable…until a power struggle began between two alphas that both wanted to be the chief of the tribe.  People took sides, of course, but I didn’t.  You wouldn’t think that would be a bad thing…but apparently, it was.  For some people, being neutral isn’t an option and it’s viewed by those involved in the power struggle as you supporting the other person since you’re not supporting them.  I walked away because life is too short to constantly have to explain yourself to others.  I tried to find a writing tribe and, once again, thought I’d succeeded.  But, for some reason, one person took an instant dislike to me and went out of her way to make my life in that group a living hell.  Because of her, I stopped wanting to share my writing because I knew that no matter how many people loved it, she would take my piece apart and eviscerate it…and me.  I was told by multiple people that she did it to every new member and that I should just ignore her.  How can you ignore someone whose mission in life is to make you believe that you are a terrible writer even when others tell you that you aren’t?  And why would anyone in their right mind just sit there and take it meeting after meeting?  Again, life is just too short for that.  After that, I completely gave up.  I no longer held out any hope whatsoever that I’d find a tribe.  Then one day a few months ago, I received an email from SARK saying that Succulent Wild World was open to new members.  I jumped on it.  I joined about 2 minutes later.  I was welcomed enthusiastically into the group by so many people.  Then, thru that group, I met the lovely lady that ran The Sunday Night Writing Group and she allowed me to join.  More wonderful people.  Shortly after that, SARK’s Rhapsody of Writing #2 was announced and SARK told me that she wanted me in it while we were on an SWW mentoring call.  The second I received the email invitation, I signed up and submitted my writing sample.  I was overjoyed when I was notified that I had made it in.  Most, if not all of the members of ROW are members of SWW and some of the ladies in The Sunday night Writing Group are in SWW as well.  Everyone in these groups is completely awesome.  We support each other in our creative aspirations.  When someone is down, they are lifted up.  When someone has something large or small to celebrate, they are celebrated.  We share our artwork and writing without being afraid that someone is going to rip it and us apart.  All that you receive is encouragement.  No one feels any pressure to present only their perfect self when we’re on ZOOM because everyone accepts you for who you are and you aren’t judged for showing up with no makeup or with messy hair.  You might have had a horrendous day at work and think about not showing up for the call but you know that the very best thing you can do for yourself is show up.  You will leave that call in a much better place…especially if you stay for the Dessert Groups which are small, randomly matched groups where you can connect with people that understand your messy middle.  That usually ends at 10:00pm my time and I’m usually so happy and hyper afterward that I can’t sleep.  It truly energizes you.  I am making friends with some of the most amazing people in those three groups whose paths I would never have crossed otherwise.  I feel safe, accepted, encouraged, believed in, and so much more.  Now that is what I call a tribe.

“There are, literally, thousands of people all around the world who need nothing more than to meet someone just like you.  To spend your time pretending to be someone else is just as senseless and fear-driven as spending your time speaking to people that don’t understand you.  Find your tribe.  Let yourself be seen.  You are already someone’s hero.” ~ Vironika Tugaleva                                                  

When I write, I really need some blinders to wear so that I’m not so easily distracted.  I need a block on the internet…mainly for Facebook and email…and my phone should definitely be turned off.  It is almost impossible for me to disconnect from the world.  I’ve thought about buying one of those lockboxes that you put your cell phone in and then set the timer for the amount of time that you need to be away from the phone.  Once you set the timer, there is no way to open it.  You have to wait until the timer goes off.  But, if I did get one, I’d probably sit there for hours trying to figure out a way to beat it because that’s how my mind works.  I do not like being bested by any kind of electronics.  And I am too stubborn for my own good.  So, no on the lockbox.  I could give it to my husband but, uh, no.  He abhors cell phones so it would probably disappear forever.  So, I guess that I’m stuck with self-control.  If you could see me now, you’d know that I’m laughing.  I have a weight problem and I’m a notorious impulse spender…mostly on electronics and books.  So self-control is pretty much off the table.  ADHD also plays a role in this issue of mine.  It makes staying on task so difficult even under the best of circumstances.  When I’m working, I listen to audiobooks so that I can concentrate.  The book keeps my right brain occupied so that my left brain can work.  This actually works very well…at work.  But if I’m trying to write, I don’t think that would work at all because both are right brain activities.  I’m getting pretty damned tired of going back to square 1 here.  Maybe if someone locked me in an empty white room with no windows, no visual or audio stimuli, no internet connectivity for the laptop that has been wiped clean leaving only Word and my novel on it, I could write without distraction.  Maybe.  I know I’m not the only one that goes through this when sitting down to write.  So, what do we do about it?  There are obviously no quick easy fixes or we would be turning out books like James Patterson.  I’ve often wondered if meditation was the answer but the times I’ve tried it, I could not get my mind to be still.  I am not going to give up.  I have given up on far too many things in my lifetime and this will not be the next one.  I have people backing me up and cheering me on so I will not let them down.  Nor will I let me down.  I want this so badly that I can taste it.  Perhaps it’s because I am surrounded by so many amazingly talented writers and creatives that I feel so energized creatively.  Or maybe it’s because of my new ametrine ring that is supposed to enhance creativity…you never know.  It’s actually a combination of so many things.  How can I allow myself to let all of this go to waste?  I can’t and that’s the motivation that I need to succeed! 

“Say no to distractions so you can say yes to your destiny.” ~ Thema Davis