Day 42: Perseverance

From where exactly does inspiration spring?  Do you have a muse?  Do you see or hear things that inspire your writing?  Do you sit down in front of your laptop and pray as hard as you can for some glimmer of inspiration?  Or do you just fake it until you get to a point where you do feel inspired?  And when your well of inspiration runs dry, how do you handle that?  Shake your fist and curse the day that you decided that you really wanted to be a writer?  Blame everyone and everything for your lack of inspiration…the music is too loud, the neighbor’s dog is barking, it’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s this and it’s that and then it’s something else?  Give up in disgust, slam your laptop closed, and storm away in frustration?  Decide that you have developed permanent writer’s block and think about becoming a full-time Uber driver?  Or do you persevere?  Do you keep writing no matter what…even if it totally sucks?  We have to persevere.  I have to write…it’s a huge part of who I am.  If I try to ignore it, it would probably eventually drive me insane.  I tried to do that over the last few years.  I’d tell myself that I was too old, not talented, that my book was garbage, that I’d never get published, etc….  But there would be flashes of truth mixed in with those lies.  I need to be on a different path because the current one wasn’t working.  I need a tribe that I could trust that would support me and hold me accountable.  I need to trust my instincts.  I just need to freakin’ write!  The “I’m too old” thing is just another excuse…a lie I told myself to make it easier to put my novel and aspirations away.  Yes, I’m 58 but the truth is, and you know this as well, I will never be this young again.  I also tell myself another age-related lie…who wants to read a book like Rapture that’s written by a 58-year-old?  I personally don’t care how old an author is especially if they are a good writer.  My brain seems to be stuck in my late 20’s and early 30’s.  I enjoy the same types of books that I did back then…mostly horror and thrillers.  The same is true of movies…I love horror, apocalyptic, and thriller type movies.  I have an Xbox 360, a Wii, a PlayStation 3 and 4 and tons of violent video games.  I’ll eventually upgrade to the newest generations of Xbox and PlayStation but I’m currently happy with the ones I have.  I listen to everything from the ’70’s to current music, from metal to country to baroque classical to alternative but I’m a little stuck in the 80’s and 90’s.  Sometimes I just can’t believe I’m nearing 60.  My body is that old but not my brain.  Look at the late, great Stan Lee.  He was an icon, a hero to a multitude of generations from the very young to the more mature such as myself.  My name is Donna and I am a Marvel Universe geek.  And proud of it!  My point is, yes, there is ageism but if your talent outshines your age, then you should be good.  So you have to persevere.  Don’t let the lies you tell yourself shut down your creativity and desire to write.  Some of those are told as a way to protect you from possible disappointment and rejection.  But just think about would happen if your dream of being published came true.  I’m not talking about the money or possible fame…I’m talking about your sense of fulfillment that you’ve been pursuing all of these years.  Isn’t that worth the risk?  So, don’t give up on your dream…persevere.  You might just surprise yourself.

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~ Walt Disney

About Donna Heilman

I am a writer that lives in Irving, TX with my husband, 3 dogs, and 5 cats. I am currently working on my novel, Rapture, as well as writing poetry and some short non-fiction. I am honestly writing this blog to feel more connected with other creative people.
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