When we write something that we know is good, there is nothing like the high you get from that.  It’s a bit like falling in love.  Suddenly, everything is wonderful.  Then you let someone read it.  You might even ask them to make notes or mark the areas that they feel are problematic thinking that they might find a typo here or a POV issue there, but nothing major because, as I said, you know it’s good.  A week goes by and you haven’t heard from them so you call them and invite them over for coffee or wine, your choice.  They arrive, carrying your manuscript and all you can think about is yanking it out of their hands but you offer them their beverage of choice and discuss your days and gossip a little.  All the while, you’re sneaking glances at the envelope.  Finally, you ask them what they thought.  They hesitate for a moment and say, “Well….”  As soon as you hear that 1 word, you know that this is not going to be the lovefest that you were expecting.  They pull out the manuscript, that is now covered in red ink, and page by page they’ve dissected your precious baby.  Suddenly, your awesome manuscript becomes a pile of trash that you don’t ever want to look at again.  You’ve decided that it is garbage because if 1 of your closest friends felt this way, how is an agent or publisher going to feel about it?  They’ll hate it.  You decide that you have no talent and should just give up your dream of ever getting published.  STOP!  You need to analyze the situation rather than taking it at face value.  1st, is your friend even a fan of the genre in which your book is categorized?  If not, get your manuscript to someone that is.  For example, if someone handed me a romance novel that they’d written, all I could really do is look for typos and grammatical errors because I do not nor have I ever read romance novels so I would not be a good judge of whether the book was good or not.  2nd, look at the manuscript…did they find grammatical errors that were not actually errors?  Perhaps it’s an idiom, your character speaks that way or you were making a point by using the phrases that you did.  3rd, is your friend an overly critical or negative person…are they always pointing out things that are, in their opinion, wrong?  Or maybe they’re jealous?  Think about the time you’ve spent together…are they envious of your creativity, your job, your car or your home?  Do they feel like the whole world is against them?  I’d still listen to them because they might be on point with some of their criticisms and recommendations but I’d also take everything that they say with a grain of salt while finding someone that has a more positive outlook or is completely unbiased.  4th, and most importantly, don’t stop writing because 1 or 2 people aren’t crazy about your manuscript…especially if it’s still the 1st draft with little or no editing.  Keep going and prove them wrong.   You have it within you to create something totally awesome so don’t let other people’s opinions get in the way of your dream.  Read your writing out loud.  It will let hear the rhythm and flow of your words.  I recently took out my book, Rapture, to find a section for a 3-minute reading in Rhapsody of Writing this Saturday.  As I was reading the words out loud that I had written 9 or 10 years ago and have looked at probably hundreds of times over the years, I found 8 ways to improve the rhythm and flow of that small passage.  Keep editing and polishing your manuscript then find someone to help you with editing and revising it to make it even better than it was.  Don’t give up just because you haven’t found your audience yet or because the audience you did find was overly critical.  We were made to create, so sit down, write and show us your sparkle!           

“The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.” ~ Maya Angelou                 

I know that writers are usually portrayed as solitary types, sitting at their desk typing or scribbling away with only a solitary desk lamp for light, with no pesky distractions such as friends or a social life or even a cadre of fellow writers to turn to when in need of moral support when the ideas just aren’t flowing.  I have 1 thing to say about that…don’t become that writer.  At times, there is a need for a bit of solitude when we’re struggling with a scene or a character is that’s just not behaving the way we envisioned but don’t make it a habit.  I have been that writer and it is much harder than you might think.  After a disastrous turn in a speculative fiction critique group, where a single person took such a dislike to me for reasons that are beyond my understanding and, even though the others in the group loved my book, she despised every single word that I had written, I decided that I could not, would not deal with that negativity.  I was asked to stay but when I told them why I was leaving all they could say was that she was that way with all the new members.  Screw that!  I had enough self-doubt that had nested in my brain so I didn’t need someone feeding it and causing it to grow.  I decided not to seek out another group because that 1 person had caused me to doubt my work and myself as a writer so I just sat at my desk and wrote. If I wasn’t at work, I was writing…alone. My social life was my husband and family.  Then life interfered with my writing…both of my parents had Alzheimer’s and I had to help with their care.  I was working all day then spending the night with my mother.  She had Sundowners and as soon as the sun began its descent, she was up.  She didn’t sleep, she was agitated, she became OCD, and was almost uncontrollable.  She had to be watched constantly.  It was exhausting.  Writing was the last thing on my mind.  I realize now that if I had been part of a writer’s group, I probably would have had some support during that time for my writing.  Others that had similar situations could have told me how they were able to continue writing or would have just supported me as a member of the group.  I am currently a member of a creativity group called Succulent Wild World (SARK’s creation) where daily, I see people supporting others when they are in difficult situations.  Ideas are freely shared.  When 1 of us has something to celebrate, we all celebrate.  It’s an amazing group with amazing people.  Then there’s Rhapsody of Writing (another SARK creation), which is a writing incubator.  Again, people supporting each other in their endeavors.  And The Sunday Night Writing Group, founded and led by Maitri Libellue, where we write our hearts out.  We use writing to dig deep into emotions, past and, present so there is a lot of support in that group, as well.  I am no longer a solitary writer and I am finally back on the path that leads to being published.  I have found my tribe.  Every writer needs a tribe, be it online or offline.  They will understand every single thing that you, as a writer, are going thru and will support you and give you guidance when needed.  As I’ve stated before, people who are not writers don’t understand what we go thru when we are in front of our laptop creating a world, populating it with characters, making life and death decisions regarding those characters, etc….  They do not understand the process or the angst when the process isn’t working.  You do not have to go thru that alone, nor should you.  So, again, I tell you…FIND YOUR TRIBE!  You might have to go to a few different meetings or join a few groups on FaceBook or wherever, but don’t give up.  I wish that I hadn’t let that bitter woman turn me off to being part of a group.  If I had continued to search for the perfect group(s), I’d probably be much further along with my book…maybe even a published author working on the sequel.  We all need cheerleaders, someone to commiserate with, someone to tell us the truth, etc…, in our lives.  Get out there and start searching! 

“Some writers enjoy writing, I am told.  Not me.  I enjoy having written.” – George R. R. Martin                  

We never stop writing.  Writers are always writing whether we’re sitting in front of our computers or scribbling into notebooks or sitting in a coffee shop people watching or staring up at the clouds in the sky and daydreaming.  Our minds are constantly developing our next character or the plot of a new novel or even struggling with the wording of a single sentence.  We see people that strike a note and suddenly we have a character’s description that we can use in our book.  The person who is throwing a fit because the barista didn’t put the 2nd shot of espresso in his drink is going to be our protagonist’s jerky boss who obviously doesn’t need any espresso in his drink.  An overheard conversation sparks an idea for a conversation between 2 of our characters.  A flower blooming in a crack in the sidewalk inspires our next poem.  We, as writer’s, do not have a day of rest.  We are writing whether we’re physically writing, preparing our notes for the next section of our book, looking for inspiration, thinking about the direction our writing will take, etc….  Our writer’s mind is always engaged and people that aren’t writers will never fully understand that.  They may be 100% supportive of our endeavors and cheer us on but they will say things like, “you haven’t written a word in weeks”, or “stop eavesdropping on their conversation”, etc….  And it’s difficult to explain just how our minds are actually working during those times when the words aren’t flowing onto the page.  So, it’s important to keep on writing, whether it’s on the page or in our heads but we do eventually need to get those words and ideas out of our heads so we can share them with others.  We write for ourselves but most of us also do it in order to put it out into the world.  So remember, we are writers and we are always writing and, when the time is right, what is in our head will flow onto the page.  Sure, it might need a little push and a little or even a lot of editing but it’s important to actually get it out of our heads.  But, in the meantime, keep watching strangers, eavesdropping on conversations, observing nature, etc…, because that’s how we develop our ideas that will end up on the page.  And remember…we are always writing.

“Description begins in the writer’s imagination, but should finish in the reader’s.” – Stephen King

                      

Such is life…my life anyway.  I had planned to have this post up by 9:00am, but that obviously didn’t happen.  I had to work all day but that didn’t stop me from writing it anyway.  So many of us that long to be published also have to hold down a day job to pay the bills and that makes it difficult to carve out time to actually make that dream a reality.  But we have to find that time.  Writing is such a huge part of who we are that not doing it makes it feel like it’s damaging our soul.  And it is.  You have something inside you…a novel, a poem, a memoir, etc…, that has to be birthed into the world.  You have something of value to share with the whole world and to not do so is depriving others of your talent, knowledge, vision, etc….  Stephen King was a teacher when he began writing.  J. K. Rowling was a mother on welfare.  Almost every modern author has a story very similar to yours.  No one is going to knock on my door and tell me that they will pay my bills while I complete my book so I have to get up at 6:00am, Monday thru Friday, so that I can head to work then get home 12 or more hours later.  And weekends, I do all of the things that I couldn’t get done during the week.  That is our reality.  But there are ways to make it work.  Write during your lunch hour.  If you use public transportation, write on the way to your destination.  Get up a little bit earlier or stay up later.  Rather than vegging in front of the TV or computer watching a movie or sit-com, write.  I promise you that there is a way to get whatever you’re writing to the finish line.  How badly do you really want this?  I don’t even have words for just how much I want to see my book on a shelf in a bookstore.  So sit down right now and think about it.  What are you willing and able to give up to finally finish your project?  You can have it all, just not at the same time.  Just aim for the future when you’re a published author, sitting in a bookstore signing copies of your book.  Dreams do come true but it’s usually thru hard work rather than a genie granting wishes.  So start writing!