Month: October 2018

Day 17: I Sit and Ponder…

Every day that I open WordPress, I sit for a while and think about what I’ll write, like most of us writers do when confronted with a blank page or screen.  As I’ve mentioned before, I am a pantser, so I don’t usually plan my writing before I actually sit down and begin to write.  I tend to give my writing its head and let it gallop off in whatever direction it chooses.  That’s how I wrote 99% of Rapture.  And, the parts where I didn’t do it, honestly, sound forced and false to me.  I suppose I am at the mercy of the Muses when I write and, sometimes, they’re real bitches!  They tease you with ideas but don’t give you the words so that you can put the ideas on paper.  Or they give you flashes and fragments of brilliance which raise your hopes, then desert you leaving you frustrated and damning your need and desire to write.  Other days, they allow your words to flow like honey.  That’s the problem with being a pantser…you have no real structure from which to begin.  I have tried just about every outlining, plotting, and structuring template there is out there.  And, I’m still a pantser.  Even in high school and college, I wrote my papers “backward.”  I would research, then write the actual paper but most of the instructors wanted to see a bibliography, notes, outline, and rough draft.  So, after writing the actual paper, I would then write the rough draft in pencil and erase and mark through words and sentences…making it look “rough.”  Then came the notes with the same marks and erasures followed by the outline.  I freakin’ hate outlines!  I’d spend more time creating that than everything else combined.  And I’d finish with the bibliography which I fleshed out a little since I actually only used 1 or 2 books of the required 4 or 5 for the meat of my paper but I’d pull relevant quotes from several other books that were used in the fleshing out portion.  Oh, and the very best part was that since I was a procrastinator, the paper was assigned at the beginning of the term and due, usually, at mid-term, so I’d start it about a week before the due date.  Oh, and I’d always get an A.  But I’m older now and I don’t know that my brain could still handle that kind of stress.  So, I guess I’m a natural pantser even though I really wish that I weren’t.  I had 1 English professor that understood me…Dr. Virginia Brumbach.  I loved that woman and took every class she offered.  She’s the professor that told me that my writing and use of punctuation were reminiscent of William Faulkner.  How could I not love an English professor that told me that?  She might have told me that as a way of admonishing me for my use of run-on sentences though but I’ll take it as a compliment.  As a writer, you have to take compliments in any form that you receive them even if they might be a little shady.  She told me that there was no wrong way to write as long as it works for you and it keeps you writing.  But I’ll probably still keep looking for that plotting technique that works for me even though I doubt that it’s out there.  The Snowflake method was promising so maybe I’ll check that out again.  The how of your writing isn’t as important as the actual writing.  As long as you’re putting words on that blank page, you’re doing it the right way!  Just keep on doing it.

“Writing is finally about one thing:  going into a room alone and doing it.  Putting words on paper that have never been there in quite that way before.” ~ William Goldman   

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Day 16: Someday

I’m going to tell you something that you already know…someday isn’t guaranteed.  We, as writers, keep that day in our head as our finish line when we’re working on our passion piece of writing.  You can’t do that.  I’m about to sound like an inspirational poster here but all you actually have is right now.  I’ll be the 1st to stand up and say, “I am a procrastinator.”  Actually, the queen of procrastinators…bow down before me my loyal subjects!  I’ll be really honest…the second that I wrote the previous sentence, my ADHD mind starting wondering why the lamp beside my writing surface wasn’t working.  Sounds simple enough to check, fix and then get back to my blog.  Well, no it wasn’t simple.  My new little writing haven, as I call it, was formerly my craft room so I have jewelry making supplies and tools, card making supplies, tools, and equipment, quilling supplies, candle making supplies, bath bomb and salts making supplies, etc…, and to make room for my computer and writing stuff, I had to clear some space.  So I put a lot of it into 2 storage ottomans, 1 big and 1 small, and the rest went into storage containers, some of which are under the table that I have deemed my writing space.  And the outlet was behind all of that.  But, being ADHD and a mega-procrastinator, I didn’t stay completely on task.  I found some notebooks that I had to look thru, some cords leading to who knows what and other things that seemed extremely important to look at in that moment.  Then, I had to put it all back…except the notebooks because they could be interesting and a nice diversion for a procrastinator.  But now I’m back.  My point, before I went off on my mission, is that you can’t keep telling yourself that 1 day, someday you’ll finish your book or other writing projects.  You, we, have to do it now.  I started my journey to publication 10 years ago and I’m not published yet.  Yes, I had some good reasons mixed in with the bullshit reasons, but that’s honestly no excuse.  So even if you add a sentence at a time, keep writing, no matter what.  Use your cell phone or voice recorder to record ideas, dialogue, etc…, on your commute or in between classes or meetings.  Always carry a notebook of some sort so that you can jot down your thoughts at lunch or at your desk.  And keep that notebook beside your bed at night along with a pen in case you awaken from a dream that has given you some inspiration.  Basically, just try really really hard to make some progress each day.  You might be amazed at how much you can actually write using stray moments throughout the day.  You’ll never reach that someday otherwise. 

“Serious writers write, inspired or not.  Over time they discover that routine is a better friend than inspiration.” ~ Ralph Keyes

“The hard part about writing a novel is finishing it.” ~ Ernest Hemingway   

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Day 15: The Strange Ways That Things Come About (A Cautionary Tale)

This is the story of my novel, Rapture, and the not exactly linear way that it all began.  Back in early 2008, I stumbled across a group of creatives on, OMG, MySpace.  1 of them was Tony, a writer and illustrator, whose work closely paralleled mine at the time.  He invited me to participate in an online role-playing game that had been active for years where the characters were humans, vampires, werewolves, witches and other assorted beings and all of the characters had very elaborate and rich backstories.  The way that the game worked was that 1 person would post within the storyline, advancing the story, and then someone else would do the same.  So the story could go off in strange and wonderful directions with no warning.  Well, for some reason or another, there were people that took a dislike to me and tried every way they could think of to kill off my characters, thus pushing me out of the game.  Well, I had a vampire, Zoey, and a witch, Bella, that did not take kindly to that.  Nor did Tony’s characters.  We planned to pretty much blow the place up with a scene unlike any they’d experienced before.  Well, there was a lot of collateral damage.  We decimated the place and it pretty much shut the game down.  Anyway, about that time, Tony told me that I should write a novel using my characters…so that’s what I did.  He also told me about deviantArt where I could post excerpts.  So I did that too.  My intent at the time was for Rapture to be a hybridized graphic novel and that was the way that I approached it.  It was probably July or August of 2008 when the publisher emailed and invited me to dinner to discuss an option for my book.  We met and agreed to the terms and I received the contract a few days later along with a check.  I was on my way!  About that time, my mom’s Alzheimer’s began to get much worse after the hospital that she’d been in for other reasons almost killed her…twice.  So, I was helping to care for her, working full-time, and trying to write my book.  The publisher decided that the 3 of us should go to New Orleans for Halloween to check out a costumed gala to see if it was the right venue for releasing the book the following year.  It definitely wasn’t but we had a blast because Halloween in NOLA is almost as good as Mardi Gras.  I love NOLA…I’d even gotten married there 13 years earlier after my husband and I had taken several trips there and I fell head over heels in love with the place.  Shortly after we’d all returned to our respective homes, it was decided by Tony who was set to illustrate the book and the publisher that it needed to be a straight novel because illustrations would detract from my descriptive writing style.  Then the publisher became partners in a production company that produced web series and direct to DVD horror movies and they were in talks to partner with a larger production company.  So the publisher pitched my book to them and they wanted to do a web series based on my book.  Cool, huh?  No, it wasn’t cool.  The catch was that they wanted me to write the scripts…25 of them at 40 minutes a piece.  Ok, I’m game for it…until I realized I was NOT a screenwriter.  I took classes, watched videos, read books, spoke with people, etc…, and I could not do it.  But I kept trying.  Working full-time, helping to care for my mom, writing my novel and trying to write screenplays.  I finally told him that I could not do it.  Hire someone, whatever, I didn’t care.  He was not happy and, at the point, I couldn’t have cared less.  I felt a bit like a marionette with everyone trying to control me.  So, I decided to get out my scissors and cut the freakin’ strings!  After a few discussions where I pointed out that I had signed a contract to write a graphic novel which had morphed into a straight up novel which had morphed into screenplays while I was still expected to finish my novel.  I told him that I honestly did not want to be associated with him any longer since the main focus for him at that point was screenplays.  We finally came to an agreement where I got to keep the option money and we’d just walk away.  By that time, caring for mom was taking up more of my time, as was work.  I put Rapture aside but planned to get back to it when things were a little less crazy.  And guess what, folks, I never got back to it.  I’d open it up, do a little editing, add a scene that I wasn’t particularly happy with and close it again.  Then my dad’s Alzheimer’s started to rapidly progress and work was still insane so Rapture lay dormant.  Until now.  I am currently trying to figure out where the story went off of the rails and then chopping that part out of my book.  Well, not chopping it completely out because there are some good scenes, so I guess I’ll be excising them.  I think that once I get back to the point where I’m happy with where the book is, I’ll be able to finish it in a relatively short time.  (Fingers crossed!)  So, the moral of this story, boys and girls, is, don’t put your book down for any reason and don’t let anyone try to direct the path that you and your writing are on.  Hold steady!                                         

“Never give up for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.” ~ Harriet Beecher Stowe

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Day 14: Don’t Do This

Do not, I repeat, do not sit around and wait for your genius to be discovered.  Do you know how the publisher that optioned Rapture found me?  I was posting excerpts of it on the website deviantArt.  There are all kinds of websites dedicated to allowing writers to post their writing.  And you could do like a lot of others do and blog excerpts and/or teasers from your writing.  There are also contests that are especially for unpublished writers.  Do a little research.  I think that you’d be surprised by the number of opportunities that are out there.  Subscribe to writing magazines like Writer’s Digest, Poets & Writers, and The Writer.  And check out their websites.  Also, Writer’s Digest publishes books yearly that aim to help you find publishers, markets, and literary agents.  And in those books, they also have helpful articles that are full of useful information.  Join writer’s groups and go to workshops and conferences.  You can also find those online.  Basically, don’t sit at your desk typing all day and night and hope that you’ll be able to capture the attention of an agent or publisher by just sending them your manuscript.  Put yourself and your writing out there.  Take chances.  Fight for it!      

“Persevere.  Accept the fact that a book deal won’t come easy or appear overnight.  Celebrate every victory that comes your way and push through every low point.  Big dreams have to be fought for.” ~ Alison & Nicholas Lochel

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Day 13: Uniquity

Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that you truly are unique…as a person and as a writer.  No one can put your words on a blank page the same way that you do.  And even if you’re writing in a genre that has been exploited for years on end, your words are completely and totally unique so your story will be unique.  Don’t ever forget that.  That’s why you absolutely have to write your poem, novel, short story, etc….  I know you’ve heard the Gandhi quote, “be the change you want to see in the world.”  Well, it’s applicable in this case too, although in a slightly different way.  How many time have you stood in a bookstore or scrolled thru Amazon’s Kindle books and thought about how you wished that there was something to read besides the same old stories with only slightly different plots and characters?  Or read a book and thought that it was good but it would have been so much better if only the author had done this or that?  We’ve all done it.  We’re writers so we don’t just read a book, we pick it apart and perfect it in our minds.  It’s up to you to write the story your way.  And maybe 1 day someone will be reading your bestseller and picking it apart.  You owe it to the world to tell your story because it will be different from everyone else’s story.  You have to do it.  It’s all you’ve ever dreamed about.  So, write that book, the 1 that highlights your uniquity, and shine!  

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way that they have been told to.” ~ Alan Keightley

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Day 12: Just Share

I’ve covered the subject of worrying about what people will think of your writing but it’s such a major issue that we face as writers that I don’t think I can cover it enough.  Why are you a writer?  Do you dream of being published?  Having a bestseller on the bookstore shelves?  Or is it to clear your mind and heart of things that you can’t deal with any other way?  If it’s the 3rd choice, you don’t really need to read any further but I’d like to add, you might just be writing about something that tens of thousands (or more) of people are also dealing with and you could possibly be a guiding light for them if you ever choose to share your writing.  Just something to think about.  For those of you that chose the 1st 2 options, I hate to break it to you but at some point, you’re going to have to share your writing with someone if you ever want to be published.  A person whose opinion you trust, an editor, an agent, and, 1 day, a publisher.  That’s the only way that you’re going to reach your goal.  And there will be opinions, rejection, criticism…some positive/constructive and some not…, suggestions, etc….  And, when that happens, remember what I’ve told you before, you cannot take it personally.  Each person that offers their opinion is doing from a place that is far removed from the place from which you wrote it.  Especially the agent and the publisher, if you get that far.  They are looking for something to market, to sell, to make money for them.  They probably aren’t going to see it as your passion project that you wrote on weekends and lunch hours and late, late nights after everyone else was in bed.  They’re going to look at the current market and if your book doesn’t fit into the money-making box that all the current bestsellers fit into, they’ll either reject it or tell you that it needs rewrites.  They might even tell you what they want to replace some of your best writing with so that it does fit in that box.  This is a business transaction for them so never forget that.  How badly do you want to be published?  Badly enough that you’ll make these changes or will you walk away with your manuscript intact?  That moment might be years away for you but you have to think about these types of things now.  Don’t say, “If I get published.”  Say, “When I get published.”  And go from there.  Create that moment in your mind and work toward it with every word you write.  Start sharing your work with others.  Join a writing/critique group.  And don’t just shut down when someone offers a critique that isn’t all rainbows and unicorns.  Listen to them and consider it from a place that’s a little removed from your manuscript.  They just might have a point.  But, in the end, you have to decide whether to make any changes to your manuscript that were recommended by others.  Look at it from the agent or publisher’s viewpoint.  I will tell you that I walked away from an option from a publisher when he wanted to go in a different direction than I saw for Rapture because I couldn’t see my book being anything other than what I had written.  That was me.  You have to make your own decisions.  Just remember, be true to yourself but be realistic and think about the future.     

“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration.  The rest of us just get up and go to work.” ~ Stephen King               

 

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Day 11: It’s Not You, It’s Them

No matter how good your writing is there’s no guarantee that other people will like it.  Yes, that’s a little tough love.  1 person just isn’t into the genre.  Another doesn’t like your phrasing.  That 1 thinks it’s too high brow while this 1 thinks it’s too low brow.  And so on and so forth.  It’s called having opinions.  We’ve all picked up a bestseller that everyone is raving about and then put it down after a chapter or 2 because it just didn’t “grab” us.  No one really has to explain why they don’t like an author’s writing.  How many books did you have to read in lit classes where the instructor waxed poetic about how the author did this or that and used this device that caused the writing to be as near perfect as any could possibly be and, yet, you despised the book?  I guess that the takeaway is…write for yourself.  Sure, familiarize yourself with the market for your genre and read books on writing and improving your writing but you don’t have to do it totally by the numbers.  Your book isn’t a paint by numbers kit.  Be original.  Be daring.  Be shocking.  Change things up.  Just because the books in your genre have been written a certain since they 1st came out, does not…I repeat…does not mean that you have to do it that way.  This is your book, poem, short story, essay, etc….  Write it your way.  I can guarantee you that there are people out there will appreciate your take on the subject.  Develop your own style…hell, your own genre.  Shake it up!  Every few years there is a shift in what’s popular…be the person that causes the next shift!

“Stay faithful to the stories in your head.” ~ Paula Hawkins               

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Day 10: Some Days Ya Got Nothin’

We’ve all been there…the notebook is open to a blank page, the pens or pencils are laid out, that infernal cursor is blinking on the blank computer screen, the blank index cards sit there in a stack, steam is rising off of a fresh cup of hot tea or coffee and we have no idea what to write.  Sometimes this happens when we are starting a new project but it could just as easily happen in the middle of a current project.  We can sit and worry that we’ve completely lost our once prolific creative ability or we can relax and just accept that we’re going to have off days.  If we’re in the middle of a project when the muse deserts us, we can proofread and edit what we had previously written.  Sometimes that will spark an idea; other times, you’re still left high and dry.  Muses can be a little bitchy at times so curse her and move on.  Walk away from the computer and/or notebook.  We’re just going to end up more frustrated if we sit there and try to force it to happen.  If you’re like every other writer, you have a lot of books about writing so find 1 that speaks to you right this second and start reading it.  Or write in your journal.  Start a blog.  Go for a run.  Sit in the garden and watch dragonflies.  Take a nap.  Do anything but sit there and try to force the writing to happen.  Close the laptop and the notebook and step away.  They will be there tomorrow when your writer’s brain is once again fully engaged and ready to write.  Being a “creator” is unique in that it is a job but it’s also a release.  But, because it’s a job, sometimes you need a little time off just like a teacher, accountant, office worker, etc….  Don’t sweat it.  The more you worry about it and push yourself, the more your brain will rebel against writing.  Just relax and know that you haven’t lost your creative ability.  You’re just taking some time off.  And that’s something that everyone needs.  Just don’t use it as an excuse to completely stop writing! 

“There is nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” ~ Ernest Hemingway

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Day 9: Taking Care of Ourselves

We all need breaks especially when you’re juggling writing, home, significant others, work, kids, critters, friends, etc….  We all like to think that we’re superhuman, but we’re not and we have to have some downtime to rest, recharge and restore.  We need to sleep at night, nap if needed and just veg out at times.  I know that it might not seem possible for us to do that, but we have to do it otherwise everything in our lives will suffer.  We need our health…mental and physical…and that’s the 1st thing that suffers when we try to get by on less than the optimal amount of sleep.  I began writing Rapture when I was suffering from a brutal case of insomnia.  I’d get home from work, eat, spend time with Rick and my critters, then sit down and start writing.  I would stop around 1:00am and try to sleep but to no avail, so I’d get back up and write some more.  Around 5:00am, I’d lie down and would get maybe an hour’s sleep before I had to get up, get ready and head to work to begin the cycle anew.  This went on for several weeks.  By that time, I was barely functioning.  I couldn’t think straight or remember anything.  My relationships, work, and writing were suffering.  I was angry all of the time and, quite honestly, I felt as though I was on the verge of a breakdown…and I was.  My husband forced me to go to see my doctor who put on some medication that should have helped me sleep but didn’t.  He referred me to my current neurologist, who is amazing.  He also prescribed sleep meds that also did not work.  I did several sleep studies and he figured out that I had delayed sleep phase syndrome, insomnia, and narcolepsy.  He then knew how to treat me even though it took some trial and error to get me on my current meds.  By the time that we had the answer everything in my life was basically on hold.  I couldn’t write and could barely think.  My marriage suffered a little but we weathered it.  Rick stuck close to my side while all of this was going on.  Work also suffered to a degree.  After I started sleeping again, I was able to do all of the things that had ground to a halt when I was getting an hour of sleep per night.  This I know, is a worst-case scenario, but it illustrates my point.  Take care of yourself.  Eat right, exercise, see your doctor regularly, socialize, and, of course, sleep.  Humans are machines.  We need care and maintenance so that our bodies can perform at their highest level.  That’s probably the most important writing tip I can give you.  You can’t do your best writing if your brain isn’t functioning properly and your brain isn’t going to function properly if you neglect your physical and mental health.  So, take care of yourself.  And rest.  And write.

“Self-care is not selfish.  You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” ` Eleanor Brownn

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Day 8: When the Words Just Won’t Flow

Some days, we sit down and the words flow so quickly that our typing/writing just can’t keep up.  Other days we sit and stare at a blank page while willing the words to come.  It is so far beyond frustrating that there really are no words to adequately describe the feeling.  We type a few words, stare at them for a while then backspace thru them.  Have we lost that creative spark?  Did we even have it to begin with?  Have we just been fooling ourselves?  Stop worrying!  We all have these times that frustrate and challenge us.  Our brain has an amazing capacity that allows us to create, multi-task and retain information but it can be overloaded, just like a computer.  You have to clear the RAM in your brain.  Each of us has a different way of doing this.  Some might lie in a hammock and stare up at the stars at night.  Others might read a favorite book that has inspired them in the past.  A long luxurious bubble bath with candles, exotic bath salts and a big glass of wine sounds really good right now.  Or a comfy cozy nap.  There is no wrong way to do it because this is your brain…not mine or anyone else’s.  What inspires you?  What makes you feel safe and comfortable?  Go do that then come back to your project.  I know that I, as a pantser, run into this on a regular basis.  Plotters have their character sketches and outlines while I sit down in my chair in front of my laptop and hope that the muses are in today and feeling generous.  Sometimes it feels as though I’m channeling rather than actually creating.  I start out with only a vague idea of where I want the book to go and 20 pages later, I find my characters in a situation that I never even imagined.  And I’m stuck while my muses are laughing their asses off.  Creativity is fickle.  Some people have figured out how to turn it on and off but the rest of us are still struggling with that.  For me, the worst thing that I can do is try to force it but I can’t just walk away every single time that the words aren’t flowing so I’ve developed a few things that help me when I’m in this situation.  Try switching gears…if you’re writing a book, try writing a poem.  If what you’re writing is of a serious nature, try writing about the funniest thing that ever happened to you.  You get the idea.  I also listen to music that is in the same vein as my writing.  Romantic scene = Savage Garden’s Truly Madly Deeply .  Unrequited love = Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs.  Anger =  heavy metal.  Or I watch a movie that has a similar theme to what I’m writing.  I’m sure that you can come up with your own rituals that will get you unstuck.  As usual, my message is…don’t ever give up.  You will regret it.  I know that I do but I’ve got my behind back in the chair in front of my laptop.  I’m not going to waste any more time and you shouldn’t either.

“When I’m writing, I write.  And then it’s as if the muse is convinced that I’m serious and says ‘Okay.  Okay.  I’ll come.'” ~ Maya Angelou

 

             

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