Day 27: When You Feel Like a Fake

Some days I loudly, proudly proclaim that I am a writer. Other days, I might mumble it so that I’m the only one that hears it. When I got the writing spark back a few months ago, I had calling cards made with my name and the word Author under it. Pretty cool, huh? But how many have I actually given out? Just 1. Why? Because I sometimes feel like a fake…like I’m just pretending to be a writer. When you get your accounting degree and get a job where you get a paycheck for doing accounting, you are legitimately an accountant. You have an accounting history so when you say that you’re an accountant it’s a good bet that no one will stand up and ask you what numbers you’ve recently multiplied. If you tell someone you’re a writer they always ask you what you’ve written. And I usually quietly say that I’m working on a speculative fiction novel and writing poetry. When am I going to be confident enough to loudly proclaim that I’m a writer because I write? I don’t have to be published or the winner of contests to be a writer. That would be wonderful but it’s not a prerequisite. We should be proud that we write and not feel like we have to justify it to others. My husband, who is my loudest cheerleader made a comment once that really pissed me off when I was trying to decide between taking a tax class or a writing. I told him that I was torn between the two but was leaning toward the writing class. He told me that of course I was leaning that way because writing is fun and easy and the tax class would be difficult but was something that would be useful in the future. Writing…fun and easy? I let loose on him. Sometimes writing is fun and easy but most of the time we sweat over every word choice we make. Writing is a job in and of itself but for the majority of us it’s a labor of love…and hate…that we receive no compensation for while doing it. But, in the future, if we keep writing we might be able to call it our job. Right now though we have to remember that as long as we write, we are writers…published or not. We are not fakes. It’s not just a hobby…we are working on our future. Keep going and be proud of what you’re doing. Buy calling cards and give them to everyone you meet. And tell them to hold on to the cards because you’re going to be famous one day.

About Donna Heilman

I am a writer that lives in Irving, TX with my husband, 3 dogs, and 5 cats. I am currently working on my novel, Rapture, as well as writing poetry and some short non-fiction. I am honestly writing this blog to feel more connected with other creative people.
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2 Responses to Day 27: When You Feel Like a Fake

  1. Keep going. It is a long hard journey and the fruits of your labor will show the rest of the world what we already know. YOU ARE A WRITER.

    Like

  2. Maggie says:

    Such a spot-on observation. The expectation of others can be a goal killer so we must just keep focused on the writing. It must be enough. I am not brave enough to be handing out cards yet, but I am working on that self-confidence. Great post.

    Like

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